Emotion Myths in DBT: Challenging Common Beliefs About Feelings
Many people grow up learning—directly or indirectly—that certain emotions are wrong, dangerous, or something to avoid. In Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), these beliefs are called emotion myths. They shape how people respond to their feelings and often make emotional distress more intense and harder to manage.
Understanding and challenging emotion myths is a foundational step in building emotional regulation skills.
What Are Emotion Myths in DBT?
In DBT, emotion myths are unhelpful beliefs about emotions that interfere with a person’s ability to experience and regulate feelings effectively. These myths often develop from family rules, cultural messages, or past experiences where emotions were punished, ignored, or invalidated.
Emotion myths don’t mean someone is weak or “bad at emotions.” They reflect learned patterns that once served a purpose.
Common Emotion Myths in DBT
Below are several common emotion myths identified in DBT.
Myth 1: “There Is a Right Way to Feel in Every Situation”
Emotions don’t follow rules. Different people can feel very different emotions in the same situation—and all of those responses can be valid.
Believing there is a “correct” emotion often leads to self-judgment and emotional suppression.
Myth 2: “Being Emotional Means Being Weak”
This myth teaches people to equate emotional expression with lack of strength or control. In reality, emotions provide important information about needs, boundaries, and values.
Suppressing emotions often increases emotional intensity over time.
Myth 3: “Negative Emotions Are Bad and Should Be Avoided”
DBT recognizes that all emotions—even painful ones—serve a function. Fear protects, anger signals boundary violations, and sadness reflects loss or unmet needs.
Avoiding emotions can lead to impulsive behaviors, numbing, or emotional outbursts.
Myth 4: “If I Let Myself Feel This, It Will Never End”
Many people fear that experiencing emotions fully will cause them to spiral or lose control. In reality, emotions rise and fall naturally when they are allowed and processed.
Avoidance often keeps emotions stuck.
Myth 5: “Other People’s Feelings Are More Important Than Mine”
This belief often leads to people-pleasing, resentment, and emotional burnout. DBT emphasizes balancing self-respect with relationship effectiveness.
All emotions deserve acknowledgment—including your own.
Myth 6: “I Should Be Able to Control My Emotions”
Emotions aren’t chosen. They are automatic responses shaped by biology and experience. What can be influenced is how we respond to emotions.
DBT focuses on skillful response, not emotional elimination.
How Emotion Myths Affect Emotional Regulation
When emotion myths are present, people may:
Judge themselves for feeling “too much”
Suppress or avoid emotions
React impulsively when emotions become overwhelming
Struggle with shame or guilt about emotional experiences
These patterns often intensify emotional suffering rather than reduce it.
How DBT Helps Challenge Emotion Myths
DBT teaches skills that support a healthier relationship with emotions, including:
Mindfulness to notice emotions without judgment
Emotion regulation skills to understand and name emotions
Distress tolerance skills to survive intense emotional moments
Interpersonal effectiveness to express emotions appropriately
By challenging emotion myths, individuals learn that emotions are signals—not threats.
Why Letting Go of Emotion Myths Matters
When people stop fighting their emotions, they often experience:
Reduced emotional intensity
Greater self-compassion
Improved relationships
Increased emotional resilience
A stronger sense of self-trust
Emotional regulation begins with acceptance, not control.