Soothing Your Nervous System: How Polyvagal Theory Helps You Heal Anxiety, Depression & Trauma
Your nervous system is the foundation of how you think, feel, connect, and respond to the world. When it becomes overwhelmed—by stress, trauma, chronic anxiety, or painful relationships—it can keep you stuck in cycles of fear, shutdown, or emotional dysregulation.
Modern neuroscience, Polyvagal Theory, and trauma-informed therapies like Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) show us that with the right insight and skills, the nervous system can be soothed, regulated, and reshaped.
In this guide, you’ll learn how your autonomic nervous system works, why you may experience anxiety or shutdown, and what you can do to restore a felt sense of safety, connection, and emotional stability.
Understanding Your Nervous System: The Foundation of Emotional Health
Your autonomic nervous system (ANS) operates largely outside of conscious awareness, yet it influences everything—your emotions, your reactions, your relationships, and even how you interpret the world.
The ANS has two main branches:
1. Sympathetic Nervous System (SNS) — Fight or Flight
This system activates when your brain senses danger, threat, or intense stress. It increases your heart rate, sharpens your senses, and prepares your body to act.
Common symptoms of sympathetic activation include:
Rapid breathing
Racing heart
Sweating
Nausea or digestive issues
Fear, panic, worry, or anger
Rumination and obsessive thinking
An overactive SNS—especially after chronic stress or trauma—can lead to:
Anxiety disorders
Sleep issues
Irritability
Burnout
Impulsive decisions
Chronic physical symptoms
2. Parasympathetic Nervous System (PNS) — Rest, Restore & Relate
This system helps your body return to equilibrium. It slows your heart rate, deepens your breathing, and promotes digestion, relaxation, and social connection.
The vagus nerve—the central pathway of the PNS—regulates:
Emotional expression
Communication
Heart-rate stability
Gut health
Hormones
Immune functioning
A well-regulated vagus nerve (healthy vagal tone) supports:
Improved mood
Better digestion
Emotional resilience
Secure connection with others
Calm, steady energy
Low vagal tone, however, is strongly linked to:
Depression
Fatigue
Detachment
Poor stress recovery
The Two Sides of the Parasympathetic System: Ventral vs. Dorsal
Polyvagal Theory explains that the PNS is not simply one unified system—it has two distinct states.
Ventral Vagal State — Safety, Connection & Presence
This is the state where healing happens.
Signs you’re in a ventral vagal state:
Steady breathing
Relaxed muscles
Normal digestion
Warmth in the body
Mindfulness and compassion
Engagement with others
Dorsal Vagal State — Freeze, Shutdown & Collapse
The dorsal vagal system activates when your body believes danger is unavoidable.
Signs of dorsal vagal shutdown:
Fatigue
Numbness
Collapse
Hopelessness
Dissociation
Slow heart rate
Low motivation
“I can’t do this” thinking
This state is deeply related to trauma and chronic emotional overwhelm.
Why Trauma Affects the Nervous System So Deeply
Trauma—especially relational trauma—changes how the brain and body communicate. It affects the amygdala (emotion center), hippocampus (memory), and prefrontal cortex (reasoning).
This can result in:
Hyperarousal (fight/flight)
Hypoarousal (freeze/shutdown)
Flashbacks
Hypervigilance
Nightmares
Difficulty trusting others
Emotional overwhelm
But the research is clear: the brain can change.
Neuroplasticity and neurogenesis mean your nervous system can learn new patterns of safety and connection.
The Right Brain: The Hidden Key to Emotional Regulation
Much of emotional healing occurs not through logic, but through right-brain experiences—intuition, body cues, tone of voice, posture, and nonverbal connection.
The right brain:
Processes emotion, intuition, and meaning
Reacts more quickly than the left brain
Stores early attachment patterns
Communicates through facial expression, gesture, and tone
Shapes how we feel about ourselves
This is why healing relationships—romantic, therapeutic, or supportive—play such a powerful role in soothing the nervous system.
Co-Regulation: The Healing Power of Another Regulated Nervous System
We are biologically wired to regulate in connection.
Co-regulation involves:
Being present with one another
Observing breath, posture, eye contact
Offering validation and reassurance
Honoring each other’s needs for space or closeness
Repairing moments of disconnection
When someone responds to you calmly during a moment of intense emotion, your nervous system can literally form new neural pathways toward safety.
Hormones like oxytocin and vasopressin play a central role in:
Trust
Intimacy
Romantic attachment
Feelings of safety
Long-term commitment
Early-stage love activates the SNS—leading to excitement, nervousness, and “butterflies.”
As trust develops, the ventral vagal system strengthens, creating deeper stability and connection.
You Can Rewire Your Nervous System
Your nervous system is adaptable. With the right skills and relational experiences, you can retrain your brain toward safety, ease, and emotional resilience.
Healing is not about “thinking differently.” It’s about feeling differently—from the inside out.
If you struggle with chronic anxiety, shutdown, or trauma responses, learning how your nervous system works can be an empowering first step toward lasting change.